Guilt

Having lived and worked in a predominantly Roman Catholic area of the country now for over 25 years I've become accustomed to hearing people talk about "Catholic guilt." It comes up anytime when I, for example, mention to a former Roman Catholic in our church (of which there are many) that "I missed you last Sunday." Ooops. I just evoked some "Catholic guilt." It comes up a lot around matters of religious observance and an inbred sense of obligation. At least that's where I hear it coming up, but then, hey, I'm a priest, and apparently I evoke more than the normal amount of it just by being who I am -- at least for some people.

I've always been suspicious, however, of just how "Catholic" all this guilt is. I grew up with my own share of it after all. There's something very real about Protestant guilt, too -- certainly in the brand of sectarian protestantism in which I grew up. As a young Pentecostal, whose theology was rooted in Wesley's doctrine of Christian perfection, there wasn't any escaping guilt for anyone who was less than perfect. And then, of course, I had to go and pile on top of that all of the liberal, politically-correct forms of guilt like white guilt, male guilt, or any other form of guilt that made me a privileged person in the world.

So, it should be no surprise then that I feel occasional tinges of guilt on this first week of a six month sabbatical. Guilty that I get a sabbatical at all when most people don't. Guilty that I got this nice grant that allows me to travel to exotic places. Guilty that other people are doing my job while I'm away. Guilty that I'm doing lots of flying on this sabbatical, leaving a huge carbon footprint. Guilty that I'm enjoying a walk down the tony streets of Naples, Florida, while people suffer in the world -- yes, I do all of that to myself.

Guilty that I'm in a warm place sitting on the beach while people back home are digging out of a 10 inch snowstorm! (Guilty that I rubbed it in just a little too much while speaking to a staff member on the phone last night!)

There's gotta be a middle ground between all of this guilt and the sense of entitlement that allows some people to live unreflective lives without regard to how what they do affects the lives of others.


Guilt is not always necessarily a bad thing, of course. It can keep us from doing things we really should not do that are harmful to ourselves or others. I just have to figure out how to keep it from killing a legitimately good time!

I'm gonna try to work on that.