Makudonarudo

You'll never guess where I've been spending a lot of my time in Japan. Makudonarudo – that's the Japanese phonetics for McDonald's. It's not that I'm a big fan of McDonald's. I'm not. But it happens to be the only (or the most convenient) place to find wireless internet access here in Shimoda. We've tried everything else. I can get wireless access via my phone otherwise, but I pay for data by the megabyte, and typing on a little phone keyboard just isn't the same as my nice big 17 inch Dell laptop. I'll have to admit that I'm very self-conscious about walking into this place – it's just a thing I have about appearing so predictably American – coming into this "restaurant" when I could be eating local food -- and perhaps reinforcing some stereotype that this place represents American cuisine. (It is, by the way, what most people around the world think of first when you put the words "American" and "food" together.) Oh well, I'm getting over it. I come in a few times a week, order a cup of coffee and a hot apple pie just so I'm not a total mooch, then go upstairs into the far corner where I can hide out for a while to read the news, check my email, and post to my blog.

Now there are certainly lots of things to be learned here in Makudonarudo about Japan, too. But first, a little lesson in Japanese phonetics. It's very simple, and I'll try to keep it that way. Unlike English, which has a 26-letter alphabet, Japanese uses a 50 character syllabary, which consists of 50 syllables, each with a character (called hiragana – and a corresponding syllabary called katakana, which is used for words of foreign origin – like Makudonarudo). The syllabary begins with five vowels: a, i, u, e, o – each with only one sound (roughly the same as what those vowels sound like in Spanish). From there, each character represents an initial consonant together with a vowel – so, for example ka, ki, ku, ke, ko, sa, si, su, se, so, and so on, through a series of initial consonants that include k, s, t, n, h, m, y, r, and w. Some of those (k, s, and t) can also be hardened to g, z or j, and d. There is only one final consonant in Japanese (meaning a consonant with which a word can end), and that is "n" (which can sometimes sound more like "m" or "ng"). The "si" is really pronounced "shi", "tu" is actually more like "tsu" and the "ti" actually sounds like "chi." Oh, yes, and the "hu" is actually more like "fu", and the ha, hi, hu, he, and ho can become "ba, bi, bu, be, bo" or "pa, pi pu, pe, and po" with the additional of little phonetic marks.

Not as simple as I promised, I know. Oh, well.

Anyway, there are no double or triple consonants in Japanese. Sounds like "McD" at the beginning of McDonald's are impossible in Japanese phonetics, so the sounds have to be represented otherwise, by the syllables ma, ku, do and so on. There's also no "l" sound, although the Japanese are famous for confusing the "r" and "l" sounds. The "r" sounds in the Japanese syllabary (ra, ri, ru, re, and ro) are neither the "r" of standard American English, (nor the "a" of Boston English!), nor the rolled "r" of languages like Spanish, but rather more the simple flip of the tongue against the roof of the mouth – not as hard as a "d" but close. And they have to make do for "l" sounds as well.

It makes for some interesting combinations of sounds to try to represent English or other foreign words. So, I go down the street deciphering katakana signs and finding some really interesting things. Wa-n-da-fu-ru wa-ru-do. Wonderful World. It's the kayak rental place just down the beach from us. Be-i be-ri. Bay Berry – the name of the pension across the street from us. Ha-i-ki-n-gu tsu-re-ru. Hiking trail.

Makudonarudo is still one of the best.

So, here at McDonald's, what can you learn about Japan? The Japanese fascination with nearly all things American, first of all. Watching sumo wrestling on TV a week or so ago, I was stunned to see a McDonald's banner ad trotted across the sumo ring by walking advertisers just ahead of a sumo bout. You have to realize that sumo is one of the most highly traditional things in Japanese culture. It is the national sport, even though baseball is close on its heels for popularity. It has all kinds of Shinto rituals associated with it. The referee is dressed like a Shinto priest, if in fact he isn't really. It takes place in an arena under a Japanese style tiled roof suspended over the ring to appear like a shrine. As long as the signs being carried across the ring were all in kanji characters (that's the Chinese characters that are used in Japanese – another lesson for later), I could fantasize that they had some ritual significance in this highly ritualized sport. But when the golden arches appeared, I just about died! It didn't seem to bother anyone else.

What has stood out most of all to Carolyn and me as we sit in McDonald's is who it is that comes here: adolescent girls. At least they seem to be a very large part of the customer base. And at least 90% of what we see being consumed by them is French fries – super sized, please. They tend to come in during the after school hours, often dressed in their school uniforms. It's clearly a social thing. Carolyn wonders if their male counterparts (who are really not in evidence here very much at all) are playing sports, while the girls are eating French fries. Do the schools offer sports for girls? Don't really know the answer to that. But if the young women behind the counter at McDonald's represent in any way the aspirations of their younger customers, we'll be seeing a lot more super-sized Japanese young women as long as Makudonarudo remains as popular as it is. And Makudonarudo is also going to have to invest in some bigger tables than the little Japanese sized ones they have now.

I vote for more sports in schools.

Adolescent girls are not the only people here. There are young families – often young moms with their little ones, sometimes accompanied by a grandmother. The sight of an older woman in a kimono sitting at a McDonald's table always provokes more than a little bit of cognitive dissonance for me. It's not something you see a lot, but it does happen. There are people of all ages, really. You also notice just how uncomfortable the Japanese are with finger food. It's rare to see someone handle a sandwich with their bare fingers. It's always wrapped in the paper wrapper. French fries, I believe, are different. They have a special status all their own here.

So here I find myself, squeezed into the "honey, I shrunk the booth", typing away, drinking the obligatory coffee and eating my 197th hot apple pie in the last two weeks. Good thing I walked five miles to get here. I haven't checked McDonald's stock today, but I can't believe they're going to need a bail out any time soon if these Japanese girls and I have anything to do with it.

Still keeping my eyes open for that sushi internet café.